from federal statutes referring to people with disabilities. health advocates who supported the law saying that the words -- reported saying it was outdate and stigmatized people with mental health conditions. it passed 398-1. all right. i really am excited you guys are going to bound us on the dial a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a eastern. join us tomorrow night and we'll see you then. >> joy: tonight, will general petraeus actually president in 2016? if so, will we all be saying it is the adultery, stup ud plus i'll talk to tony gold win from the movie classic "ghost." your sex questions will be answered by the one and only dr. ruth on "say anything."

>> joy: there's already talk of hillary running for president in 2016. you know why? because talking about the fiscal cliff is barring and requires much too much energy and it is draining. that's all i have to say about that. [ laughter ] i can't take it. joining me now, host of the jeremy kyle show, jeremy kyle himself. actress and comedienne, kim coles and current tv's own john fuglesang. welcome to the show you guys. >> thank you. >> joy: okay, 57% of people polled saying they'll back a run for hillary. that's a lot of people. what do you say about that? >> it's great but in reality they only want her in the white house so they can watch her and bill try to live with each other again. >> in england, they always say when the whole monica lewinsky thing happened he said you stay with me and then one day you'll get the top job. do we reckon a deal was done?

she looks naked to me. she's done every job known to man. >> she's going to take a rest and she's coming back. >> no, she's not. she's going to give up secretary of state so she can campaign underneath for four years then she will grab it. >> she's working hard. yes, she's tired. she will take this little rest. in four years she'll do it. >> joy: she couldn't be more popular than right now. why not go out on top because you know they'll turn on her if she's president. >> john: of course they were. in the '90s, conservatisms then after her time in the senate, voting for the iraq war liberals were down on her. that's why the current guys in the white house. it seems like we're finally at a point when everyone likes hillary clinton. >> joy: she's not too tired. >> john: she could be a grandma by 2016. i would love to have a grandma. >> 33 years ago after the first

ever female president. that would be a big thing. >> i think it's time. >> john: that's the funny thing about it, we had this war with your country england -- >> i thought we were allies. >> john: we are now. they don't teach this -- >> i was going to sit here and say we owe our liberty to the americans. >> john: the fact you're not speaking german i'll personally take credit for. we had this war with england. now the monarchy is figure head. we have inherited power. we'll have the wife of a former one. unlike george w. bush, mrs. clinton i think was by losing the election. i think that now having done her time she's erased her time in the senate. she's worked every job in the world. >> joy: i think republicans would have given her just as much trouble as they gave obama. what about dade petraeus for president? apparently roger ailes wanted him to run four president. listen to a conversation between a fox news contributor and david petraeus in 2011. watch.

>> joy: you know, roger ailes says that it is a big joke. do you think he was joking? >> john: i would have liked to have seen him run before all of this happened. it is deeply embarrassing, discussing this with a british person, by the way, no offense james bond movie opens, our top spy has to resign for sex with one person. >> i did find it -- the head of the c.i.a. relationship with a woman and did it by gmail and it was found out by the fbi. it makes you wonder what the fbi is doing to the rest of us. >> so slippery, i don't want him as president. >> but the fact that he had a

little bit of a different side and he maybe had this woman on the side, clinton left the white house with the biggest approval rating in the history of the world. maybe it would work in his favor. >> john: if you can't keep an affair secret in washington, d.c. -- >> exactly. >> joy: petraeus says he doesn't want to run for president. one of the reasons is his wife. watch. >> my wife would divorce me. and i love my wife. >> tell her it's a beautiful house. >> we have a beautiful house. joy: am i the only one shocked that his and her bathrooms cannot keep a marriage together? >> separate bathrooms. >> separate closets, separate bathrooms and not much sex. >> sex with other people apparently. >> john: he's getting to spend a lot of time in that house now. i'm sure they'll work through it but i think what ails is trying

to do, i do think he meant it, i think they were trying to have a wesley clark candidacy of putting in a war hero. i actually wish he had because i would have liked to have seen general petraeus face scrutiny for how he handled iraq before the whole c.i.a. thing happened. it is not unheard of. now roger ailes is saying it was a joke and this is off the table like karl rove's pass at fox news. >> joy: do they have that much power at fox where they can tell you who's running for president? >> john: rush limbaugh has that much power. >> joy: okay. we've all heard that kate middleton is in the hospital for morning sickness. while an australian radio station prank called the hospital and got through to the nurse in kate's room. listen to this.

>> joy: go ahead. >> that voice didn't even sound like the queen. >> i've got so much to say about this. first of all, how scared did that nurse sound? she genuinely believed that was the queen of england. the queen would not ring and go what time should i come and visit. it is my country my hospital, i'll bloody welcome when i want to. that poor woman her christmas is ruined. >> john: she will be working all night. >> australian, radio gold. you know that. that's gone everywhere. the worst impression i've ever heard. >> the worst. >> john: it would have been easy to be charles or prince phillip. >> actually said tummy bug. that's something the queen would never say. >> she hasn't been wretching on my watch.

>> unbelievable. >> john: this is diana's first grandchild. americans will be going crazy over it. >> there is a new rule. they brought out literally in the last couple of months whether it is a boy or a girl, whoever comes out first will succeed. in the past, if it was a girl, if the boy were younger, he would become king. they think maybe twins. two generations. >> one has to come out first. >> what if it is a cesarean. can you imagine? that's the king. >> joy: that's interesting. >> john: legitimate news find the fake king of england. >> i'll tell you what i do think. in england, she is seen, excuse the phrase, she's a commoner. for many, many people in england, these two have completely reconnected the monarchy with the british public. they've done more for the monarchy in the -- since diana.

>> joy: this one is not such a lose canon. >> what she will provide for this monarchy is nothing they've had in 2,000 years. >> john: her parents started out that way. they made money on their own. >> the establishment in england will say they made their own money. they weren't born into it. >> john: this won't look anything like the royal stable. >> joy: will the children have charles' ears? >> john: all of charles' dna all of the auck warned german, all going to be there. >> sid to my mother. >> and all of harry's fire. >> joy: all right. more with my panel in just a minute. first, i want to remind you of a big hurricane sandy fund-raiser for my favorite comedians. john fuglesang will be joining me at 92 street y. 100% of the proceeds are going to victims of sandy.

jennifer > i want the people who watch our show to be able to come away armed with facts and the arguments to feel confident in their positions. i want them to have the data and i want them to have the passion.

at cepacol we've heard people are going to extremes to relieve their sore throats. oh, okay, you don't need to do that. but i don't want any more of the usual lozenges and i want new cooling relief! ugh. how do you feel?

now i'm cold. hmm. this is a better choice. new cepacol sensations cools instantly, and has an active ingredient that stays with you long after the lozenge is gone. ahhh. not just a sensation sensational relief. >> joy: i'm back with jeremy kyle kim coles and john fuglesang. now, could angelina jolie be retiring? the actress just told a british tv station "i think i'm going to have to give up the acting as kids hit the teenage years. too much to manage at home". why would anyone want to spend more time with teenagers? considering giving up her career to spend time with the kids. >> she's going to take a break and she'll be back. she's never combed that little girl's hair. the little black girl.

look at her hair. she's never combed it. >> maybe she doesn't know. >> that's the whole point. she needs to learn how to comb her hair. >> she has several nannies. >> take a break and she will go back. >> the woman is thinking of retirement at the height of her career. i've never heard of this in hollywood. most actresses are complaining that they're 40, their careers are over -- >> because she knows she will be okay. she can come back any time she wants. not everybody can do that. >> joy: until what age? >> john: i think she should give up doing crap films. if she would do a little bit less tomb raider -- >> what about girl interrupted? >> john: a dozen years ago when she won the oscar. >> she's gorgeous though. >> john: i was surprised -- normally when an actress says something, it is because they're trying to pin a project. she's just looking for attention. why can't john voight retire? >> joy: he's got too much nastiness in him. >> john: yeah. >> joy: barbara walters

special on 2012's most fascinating is airing and honey boo-boo is on the list. why do you think she finds honey boo-boo fascinating? >> because barbara knows that ratings find her fascinating. >> joy: she actually thinks she's fascinating i guess because of the hoopla around honey boo-boo which is basically what you're saying. why would people be attracted to that type of show? >> for the evangelical community, it is the best case we've had that darwin was wrong about everything. so in that sense, it is really huge. >> i think you'll find that those sorts of shows, people say about the sort of -- the talk show genre as well, i find it fascinating, you know, networks are interested in ratings as you said. we get very judgmental about what people watch. at the end of the day people will watch what they want to watch. have i seen much of that, no. if people watch it and it works what's the big issue?

>> they're watching it because -- >> you feel better about your own life. somebody flicks on a button, it works. >> they're watching it because it is so ridiculous and it makes their life seem normal. >> joy: she's an endearing child. people are watching a family that doesn't look like theirs but it is a nice family. >> have you ever heard of julie cooper the british author, sold 300 million books. she said i love the jeremy kyle show. i thought i bet you don't. she pointed at the royal box going back -- she pointed there and said they're more messed up than anybody on any daytime talk show. that is it. same thing here. people watch that for all sorts of reasons. make them feel better about their lives. that's outrageous. does it exist? is it real. >> john: it is a train wreck for noncelebrities. they actually have to subtitle their dialogue in english for the viewer. >> joy: i need that when i watch masterpiece theatre.

>> john: like in the great depression, we would watch films and see wealthy culture people doing beautiful things. now we go to white white trash on wheat. you're right. the family is nice. i think you can either watch honey boo-boo now or wait ten years and be carjacked by her in person. >> joy: the show where they're teaching kids to dance. dance moms. that's a much more sadistic show. this is not as nasty as that one. >> john: there is a mean spirit to it. >> joy: adam levine, he's a singer. he said honey boo-boo is a decay of western civilization. isn't he on the voice? >> putting people on shows like that, is that degrading? >> joy: okay now "forbes" magazine, they came out with its annual list of overpaid actors. eddie murphy tops the list followed by katherine heigl and reese witherspoon. are they overpaid or just, you know just have great agents? >> great agents and maybe not

great projects right now. i would like to be overpaid. >> still waiting for the next hit. >> john: i don't think they're overpaid. everybody else is underpaid. in the case of eddie murphy, he's had flop after flop. he needs to murder his agent. but that same article says -- every dollar they've paid eddie murphy that's brought back $2.30 at the box office. that's a better ratio than congress. let's fire them first. eddie murphy has been in horrible films. not that they're bad actors. they do crap films. >> joy: that doesn't seem to mean anything. some of the crappiest films make the most money. >> absolutely. >> i think eddie is an icon. katherine is on her way. who else? >> joy: katherine heigl and reese witherspoon. >> she's just the best. reese witherspoon, have you ever seen the movie -- >> john: ben stiller is on the list. jack black is on the list. these are people -- matt damon is considered the most profitable actor. his movies return the biggest profit. >> they say that overpaid,

they're waiting for an oscar and box office smash. i don't know at the end of the day if you have had success in the past. take the paycheck or wait for the script that might work or not work. >> joy: i would like to be overpaid is all i have to say. >> you probably are compared to a lot of people. >> john: eddie murphy still makes $10 million and that's more than joy is paid by current in a whole week. >> joy: what station is this again? kim coles will be performing tonight at gotham comedy club here in new york city. and it is to benefit the victims of hurricane sandy so you have to go check that out. the stars of the hit abc series scandal tony goldwyn. we'll be right alright, in 15 minutes we're

going to do the young turks. i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they know that i'm not bs'ing them with some hidden agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know that i'm going to be the first one to call them out. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us. ♪ we were skipping stones and letting go ♪ ♪ over the river and down the road ♪ [ female announcer ] at nature valley we know nature comes together in amazing ways. that's why we bring together natural ingredients, like dark chocolate with toasted oats, or sweet golden honey. perfect combinations of nature's delicious ingredients from nature valley. ♪ ♪ ♪ i was thinking that i hope this never ends ♪ [ female announcer ] nature valley granola bars nature at its most delicious.

[ male announcer ] red lobster's crabfest ends soon. hurry in and try five succulent entrees like our tender snow crab paired with savory garlic shrimp. just $12.99. come into red lobster and sea food differently. and introducing 7 lunch choices for just $7.99. salads, sandwiches, and more. but when joint pain and stiffness from psoriatic arthritis hit even the smallest things became difficult. i finally understood what serious joint pain is like. i talked to my rheumatologist and he prescribed enbrel. enbrel can help relieve pain, stiffness, and stop joint damage. because enbrel, etanercept suppresses your immune system, it may lower your ability to fight infections. serious, sometimes fatal events including infections tuberculosis lymphoma, other cancers, and nervous system and blood disorders have occurred. before starting enbrel your doctor should test you for tuberculosis and discuss whether you've been to a region

where certain fungal infections are common. don't start enbrel if you have an infection like the flu. tell your doctor if you're prone to infections, have cuts or sores have had hepatitis b have been treated for heart failure, or if, while on enbrel, you experience persistent fever, bruising, bleeding, or paleness. [ phil ] get back to the things that matter most. ask your rheumatologist if enbrel is right for you. [ doctor ] enbrel, the number one biologic medicine prescribed by rheumatologists. v >> joy: my next guest is an actor, director and one of the stars of abc's hit show "scandal" but he first came to fame playing the worst best friend ever in the blockbuster movie, "ghost."

>> now do you believe in ghosts? >> joy: please welcome tony goldwyn. let's talk about "ghost for a minute. whoopi goldberg was the star of that. she won an oscar. was she fun to work with? >> she was the best. whoopi is amazing. >> joy: she's an easy going person. very good, very generous. how did you get that part? >> i got that part -- at a time in my life -- in the early years struggling pretty hard as an actor. my wife is a very, very talented production designer. at that point her career was booming and she was the production designer on "ghost," she designed the scenery. she would come home and say there is this part in this movie they haven't cast yet the villain. and you know, i couldn't even to get an audition. she kept telling me this and i kept calling my agent. i finally fought my way in to get an audition.

>> joy: you got it. >> mir ac ac owsley ended up getting the film. >> joy: how long ago? >> 22 years ago. >> joy: you look the same. you do. you don't look 22 years older. people are telling me they have trouble thinking of you as a nice guy because of that. you were so good at it. playing a bad guy like that. you also have died a lot on screen. what is that about? >> that's right. endemic to this profession. if you're in awhile, you'll die several times. playing villains. >> joy: what is it about you that the director cast you as a villain? you have extremely amiable looks. >> it was that movie because before that film, even in my screen test for "ghost," which is in the actually used to do screen tests, the director said you're too sympathetic. we need you to be more evil. i said no, the way to play this

guy is not to be evil at all. their hesitation was i didn't seem bad enough but then of course when they cast me and i was evil then people thought of me as the villain. >> joy: you do have the blue eyes like paul ryan. >> don't say that, joy! >> joy: the village of the damned eyes. >> as my wife says, nazi eyes. >> joy: let's talk about your grandfather. i'm interested in your family. your grandfather is a very famous mogul. one of the original people who created hollywood sam goldwyn. sam is known as -- i think he was the funniest one from what i've read. he was like the yogi berra of it. do you remember anything? >> yeah, he had these -- he was never formally educated which often became an area of sensitivity for him. but he was completely self-taught. and had these terms phrase that became known as goldwynisms. like a verbal contractor isn't worth the paper it is written on

or anybody who sees a psychiatrist ought to have their head examined. really wonderful terms of phrase like that. and eventually, you know, lore has it became a publicity thing and he became sense at this to it. put the kibosh on it because he worked hard to educate himself and felt that people were making fun of him. >> joy: i don't think people understand how he made it to hollywood. this is one of the most successful hollywood -- i guess he was the head of the studio. >> yeah, he had a very, very long career. he came to america at age 15 from poland, alone with no money with one suit of clothes on his back that he had borrowed from his uncle and walked on foot from eastern europe, he made his way to england where he had a relative, an uncle and he scraped together enough money to get steerage on the bottom of a boat to canada and then walked

from labrador to new york city and then worked in a glove factory and became a glove salesman. quite a successful glove salesman until about age 30 discovered the early movies and said that's the future and changed businesses. >> joy: it is an unbelievable story. all of those guys have stories like that. people should look up stuff like that. find out. >> it was an empire of their own. all of the jews in hollywood. all of those guys who started the industry were from within several hundred dollar mile radius in eastern europe. >> joy: they didn't speak english. they were all poor. they were desperately poor really. to walk that kind of -- i can't even do my 10,000 steps a day. imagine walking from where he walked. it is just fascinating stuff that people should look into. it is a testament to the idea that you can do anything in this country. >> it's >> joy: that's why people want to come here. the other thing about you i just

found out is i believe you're in this month's issue of "people" magazine as one of the -- sexiest men alive. >> one of them. absolutely right. >> joy: you've been married all of these years right? >> i have. 25 years. >> joy: how does your wife? -- >> i've been trying to convince her for years this is the case. finally! so no, she got a kick out of it. my eldest daughter, when she found out she sent me a text that said eww! >> joy: that is kind of gross for a kid. i would have died if they put my father in that. he would have never made it. >> whenever she sees me in a love scene she can't watch. >> joy: we're going to take a break and we'll have more with tony goldwyn in just a moment. still to come, everything you ever wanted to know about sex but afraid to ask with the lovely dr. ruth westheimer. who else would you go to, right?

jennifer > it's these "talking points" that the right have about "the heavy hand of government". i want to have that conversation. really! you know, i'd like to arm our viewers with the ability to argue with their conservative uncle joe over the dinner table. did you get chips for the party? nope. cheese plate? cheese plate...nope. i made something better. ♪ ♪ you used the oven? boom ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] pillsbury crescents. let the making begin. [ female announcer ] why settle for plain bread? here's a better idea. pillsbury grands! flaky layers biscuits in just 15 minutes the light delicate layers add a layer of warmth to your next dinner. pillsbury grands biscuits let the making begin. [ ice crackling ] [ knuckles cracking ] and who are you supposed to be, back-up? what you looking at? ha! cat-like reflexes...

whoa! [ male announcer ] the coors light silver bullet pint. it's bigger. it's resealable. it's still the coldest. don't you do it. don't you do it! [ male announcer ] frost brewed coors light. the world's most refreshing beer!

>> i need you to take a look. i have removed senator schumer entirely which is fine because i never liked his wife. apparently neither did he. >> what gala? i thought i said i didn't want a big party. >> we can't always get what we want, can we. >> joy: that was a clip of my guest tony goldwyn. you play the president on this show. did you draw on any other presidents? >> the ones i mostly studied were clinton and obama. because for two reasons really. they're both such extraordinary public an ability to connect with people

in a very personal way. particularly clinton. even the one time that i was able to meet him he has this extraordinary quality of making you feel like you're the only person in the room. and he could be talking to 20,000 people. >> joy: i know. >> i thought that kind of heart was something i wanted to find in this. >> joy: he remembers everybody's name too. >> extraordinary. >> joy: when i see him, he says joy how are you? it is like i wonder if he knows about all of the jokes i did with monica lewinsky. which brings me to the part of the fact that you are having an affair in this show with kerry washington's character which is interracial plus he's married and it is pretty hot stuff over there. >> it gets pretty hot yeah. tomorrow night's episode gets very hot. >> joy: oh really? what kind of reaction are you getting from the viewers? >> fantastic. it is building every week, it gets more and more and more. i was -- month or so ago in shooting

-- i created a television pilot show for amc that i'm producing and directing but we were doing the pilot in philly and people were literally running out of buildings to grab me to say how much they liked "scandal" because when you get out of l.a. and new york, ordinary people who aren't so used to seeing people in our business. it was really nice. it was great. >> joy: they got excited when they see a celeb. the petraeus scandal is going on. are you going to incorporate that? >> judy smith who is the crisis manager who kerry's character is based on is also an executive producer on the show. judy is representing one be of the parties in the petraeus scand scandal so i don't think because of the sensitivity of judy's cases we don't -- actually use the real cases. i think shonda makes stuff up and asks judy, what would you do? would this be real and they come up with it together.

>> joy: she won't have a general having an affair but maybe a sergeant. >> yeah. >> joy: i like -- you direct a lot, don't you? i saw your movie "walk on the moon" with diane lane and viggo mortensen. that was a hot film. very hot film. people talk about renting pornography and everything and how it gets them going. i think that film could do it. >> thank you. that's a big compliment. no because the sex is a big part -- >> joy: very hot in that movie. >> the thing about sex in movies, you know, it is unlike pornography. it is really what you don't show that's the hottest. >> joy: exactly. >> the most erotic. >> joy: just show her face. >> the connection between people often is a lot hotter than -- >> joy: but it is all about a girl in the catskills in the '650s and she goes to -- 'in the 60s and she's married to a nice, jewish boy but doesn't get

her going like this. do you really think that a blouse man in the catskills ever looked like viggo mortensen? >> very few! >> joy: because if they would i would have bought a few blouses in those days, too. >> the blouse men tended to look more like cenky green. there are a couple of other movies like that that i love. i want to play a game with you. >> okay. >> joy: i want to go over a list of people you worked with to get your immediate reaction. i play this game with oliver stone. he was very good at it, too. demi moore. >> demi moore. beautiful. outrageous. one word answers. demi, i loved demi. she was and still is -- super smart. >> joy: you're too old for her. >> now i'm too old for her. in those days, i wasn't. >> joy: how about diane lane? well gorgeous. diane is magic.

such a -- so and humble and hungry to be good and just a wonderful person. >> joy: she is good. i've always been attracted to her movies. >> me, too. she gets better and better. >> joy: denzel? >> denzel is like one of the acting gods. given the chance to work with denzel which was awhile ago i think he's so great and one of the people who -- just put up there with the top five great actors. >> joy: he looks like he could do anything. one more before we go -- >> sure. >> joy: patrick swayze. the late great. >> sweetheart. truly great man. and packed a tremendous amount into the life that ended too early. >> joy: that was a sad story. thanks very much for doing this with me. >> sure. >> joy: i'm enjoying your work very much. i know your grandpa is dead but if he were alive, i would send

my love to him. >> thank you. >> joy: airs on abc. next up, the one and only dr. ruth is here to talk about -- wait, do i have to finish the sentence? you know what it is. alright, in 15 minutes we're going to do the young turks. i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they know that i'm not bs'ing them with some hidden agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know that i'm going to be the first one to call them out. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us. alright, in 15 minutes we're going to do the young turks. i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they know that i'm not bs'ing them with some hidden agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. when the

democrats are wrong, they know that i'm going to be the first question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

>> joy: my next guest has done more for sex than red wine, soft music and general petraeus combined. please welcome dr. ruth. >> hello. i don't know about that. i don't know if i like this combination but i do like you. hi there. >> joy: well, you know, you really are the person to go to with any sexual problems and you've been in that position for how many years now? >> a long time. i really started in 1981. i have been talking about sex for a long time. guess what? i still am talking about sex.

>> joy: i know you are. >> i still will talk about sex. >> joy: and people will listen to you. let's talk about a couple of things going on about sex. fifty shades of gray, the book. it is quite a hit. >> guess what. i knew you would ask me about that book because does anybody think that this dr. ruth westheimer, that i wouldn't read that book? of course. would i say no i haven't read it. i have. >> joy: it is not a well-written book. >> one volume. i read one, two three. the book was translated to hebrew, sold out in one day in israel. i have to tell you something seriously speaking. it is not great literature. i'm not an expert in great literature but it's not great literature. >> joy: right. >> it is very interesting for somebody like me to talk about

"fifty shades of gray" with you because they used to think that women are not getting aroused by erotic sexually explicit movies. now anybody who reads "fifty shades of grey" is going to say who wants to be involved in a sado masochistic relationship and i say turn the page. there are some pages there that are very sexually arousing. also the young woman is of age. it is not something where i would say i don't touch this. he is a billionaire. he has a plane and a car and who, even you and me, who wouldn't like a guy like that? so i say to people, read it. read only those passages. but look how interesting joy. there was a lady -- there was the fear of flying. i can say to you women do get aroused by reading literature.

>> joy: well, you know, the new surveys showing that women are leading the way in the bedroom these days. sex now lasts than before. that makes 30 minutes. >> if it lasts longer, fine. but what you just said is very important. >> joy: that women are leading the way. >> yes. because i have said to women across all ages, you -- i'm not talking about you personally. you, in generic terms must take the lead to teach him what you need in order to have an orgasm. even the best lover joy even a lover trained by me can't bring her to sexual satisfaction if she doesn't tell him what she needs. so that survey -- correct. across this great country of ours, it is correct that women

do take the lead. to have more orgasms. >> joy: they're having more orgasms. 50% of have tried bondage. i don't care for that. that's not my thing. that disgusting me. >> i don't believe it. >> joy: i'm tied up enough in my job. >> i like that! but you know what? these people who do the survey at the kitchen table. not scientifically validated. but anybody like you and me would sit up and pay attention when they say such numbers. nonsense. >> joy: another study out that -- >> survey. >> joy: they say it is a study, this one who knows that newlyweds enjoy this big happiness for only two years then it goes back to the way they were before. you don't believe that? >> nonsense. >> joy: helen fisher -- >> i know her.

>> joy: she explains the fact that the sexual interest in each other lasts only about two years and it is biological and evolutionary. >> i know her. she's a very serious -- yes. nonsense. >> joy: it is nonsense. >> nonsense. i want to be able to say it would be terrible if you and i repeat this as if it was truth. because what are we going to say to all of the couples? we're going to say have sex every night. every day because in two years it is going to be done? what is true and she is right that excitement, that you have to work on it. it doesn't happen just by looking into each other's eyes. >> joy: but looking into each other's eyes works for two years. >> well, whatever. in my way of thinking, hopefully it works for ten years. but you have to work on it. she's right in that respect. you have to captivate the relationship. make time. you have to hold hands. you can't just text.

>> joy: it is ironic because in those two years biologically speaking, and for evolutionary purposes, it is probably the two years where you would start reproducing yourself. that's probably the purpose species to continue. >> no. joy, if it were only for procreation, then there wouldn't be the jewish tradition that says even after menopause, a husband is obligated to provide sexual satisfaction to his wife. which tells you that even after menopause, of course they could have said you have your ten children or two children whatever, now you don't have to -- not true. they knew about the importance of the relationship. they knew about the importance of sex. >> joy: doesn't the scientists sociologists -- >> back in the jewish tradition -- they were smart. maybe smarter than all of the --

>> joy: the thing about it is in the first couple of years when you're really excited with each other, those are the years when you could reproduce very easily and yet then you have these children and then you're too busy to have sex after that. it is true. what is true is once you have the child and then you have other obligations. >> joy: that's right. you're saying work on it and make time for it. okay. we'll continue this conversation in just a minute with dr. ruth. you know who is coming on to me now? you know the kind of guys that do reverse mortgage commercials? those types are coming on to me all the time now. (vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. you would rather deal with ahmadinejad than me. >>absolutely. >> and so would mitt romney. (vo) she's joy behar. >>and the best part is that current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking?

jennifer > i want the people who watch our show to be able to come away armed with facts and the arguments to feel confident in their positions. i want them to have the data and i want them to have the passion. you see grandma lives waaaay down here and you live way up here. brian, your cousin, he's a little bit older than you, he lives here, in chicago. and your aunt lisa lives here, in baltimore. uncle earnie? waaay out in hawaii. but don't you worry, we will always be together for christmas. [ male announcer ] being together is the best part of the holidays and cheerios is happy to be part of the family. you just ate dallas! [ male announcer ] red lobster's crabfest ends soon. hurry in and try five succulent entrees like our tender snow crab paired with savory garlic shrimp. just $12.99. come into red lobster and sea food differently. and introducing 7 lunch choices for just $7.99. salads, sandwiches, and more.

where you don't back down from a challenge. this is the age of knowing how to make things happen. so, why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. 20 million men already have. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor.

ñ [ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> joy: we're back with dr. ruth. you know, there is another survey, we'll call it a survey. >> okay, you are a good student. you learn very fast. >> joy: i am. the survey says that women do not marry the man with whom they've had the best sex. they marry someone other than that person. what do you make of that? >> first of all, i tell that woman keep your mouth shut. don't ever tell him. i will also say that might not be so because getting married is very serious.

you want somebody who is a companion for life, someone you can share intellectual activity and you want somebody who is going to be kind to your family, to his family, there are many other components. >> joy: you want someone who can drive at night. >> no question. there is no question that so. but if tell all of your viewers keep your mouth shut. don't ever say the last guy i had sex left gave me better orgasms. >> joy: so it's probably true. >> it could be. >> joy: we have a couple of questions from viewers. how important is it to have simultaneous orgasms. >> nonsense. i like when you ask the question and i can say nonsense. if you get them, enjoy it. in most cases it does not happen. any woman who holds back her orgasmic response just to wait for him to ejaculate is a

problem. enjoy your orgasm. smile. tell each other that you love each other. period. >> joy: in other words, take it while you can get it. >> i like that. >> joy: this person said i read somewhere it's possible to have an orgasm without any physical contact whatsoever, is that true? >> true. >> joy: when you're by yourself. >> no, someone can sit with a partner and have a wonderful erotic kind of a discussion or talking, and have an orgasm. >> joy: have an orgasm while talking to each other. >> sometimes it can happen on television. i don't ask personal questions. they can have erotic thoughts and dreams and just talking to you. i don't ask but yes it is possible. your brain will help you and i

give a lecture. i say sometimes that there are women who are easily orgasmic they can have an orgasm by sitting there. >> joy: that's so great, and you don't have to take a shower or anything afterwards. all this says that i've been happily for 11 years. i was at a bachelor party and was on the receiving end of a lap dance. is that considered cheating. >> first of all tell your viewer keep your mouth shut. if you have an orgasm, enjoy it, and keep your mouth shut. i would worry about people who go lap dancing because it might lead to some more exploration so i would worry about it. it happened, enjoy it. keep your mouth shut, and keep

it in your brain. >> joy: here's what we learned so far. take it when you can get it. >> yes. >> joy: keep your mouth shut. >> yes. >> joy: and smile while you're afghani an orgasm. >> no, while an orgasm women cannot semi. you have to concentrate. >> joy: what about loud noises. it's so irritating all goes on during sex. >> ignore it. enjoy what's happening. >> joy: okay, i have to plug your new book which is on a different topic about alzheimer's. tell me about the book really fast. >> first of all the reason why i did the book for alzheimer's caregiver is i know how to train paraprofessionals to be counselors. these days anybody i talk to has somebody like this. i have friend who have a partner who has alzheimer's. >> joy: maybe people are living longer. >> we don't know.

we don't have all the answers. what we do know is that the caregivers if it's the family or the paid caregiver must take care of themselves, otherwise they're going to run out of steam. they have to go out for a movie go out for coffee, they have to let other people help them. if somebody says can i do something for you? never to say no thank you but to say yes, i would like to have my hair done. can you come and replace me for two hours. very important. and also i talk about sex. >> joy: i know, you have the sex therapist. >> that's true. i can't have a book without sex. >> joy: what happens with alzheimer's. >> i'm not an expert on the disease. just on human relations. >> joy: right. >> there is a diminishing of control. people walk around with their flies open or women my take a

caregiverrer's hand to touch them. the control is not there. and we have to tell the caregiver not to say that this is dirty, but they don't have to satisfy it. they have to be aware and be aware and not be upset about it. so anybody who--even a prudish type of person before he had alzheimer's can suddenly become a randy old man? >> yes, that's what i've learned. what is important the caregivers have to know about it. the other thing that caregivers have to know is the people, the family, they might have sex with the alzheimer's patient and then they forget about it. they can't say was it good for you. >> joy: if it was good for you what? was what good for me? >> you have to speak about it. we now know there is a topic of conversation that has to be on television. >> joy: like